1 ovester down, 2nd ovester here i come

I remember from Legally Blonde, where this feminist mentioned that she was going to stage a rally against calling a 'semester' a semester simply because it was sexist and that it should be changed to 'ovester' instead. I'm not sure about that, but I'm calling it an ovester because of the intense hormonal imbalances I get during those months that I'm supposedly surviving med school.

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On a sticky note on my desktop, I posted this verse:

No, in all these things we are more

than conquerors through him who loved us.

Rom 8:37

All of the memories of those last few weeks of the 1st sem suddenly flooded my thoughts. The paralyzing fear that I wasn't going to pass my subjects and the need for taking the removals, or worse, having to repeat the year. The feeling of having to give more of yourself, when you know that you're absolutely exhausted and you're not exactly sure if what you have to give is enough. And of all that horrible thoughts I've had during those last few weeks, I think the worse was the doubt -- doubting my purpose, should I actually be in medicine at all?

But in the end, as usual, He has been faithful to his promise. Now that I look back, it does make sense that there is literally no need to worry. If I knew then, what I knew now, that I would come out a 'conqueror' maybe the Fear, the Insecurity, the Doubt - all those thoughts didn't have to be thought. I am a conqueror through HIM who loved me.

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So that's one ovester down, and nine to go. The second is starting on Thursday and as I find myself planning, a new set of thoughts are revolving around my head. Fear is still lingering, what if I don't make it. Insecurity is still there telling me that I'm not as good as the others and that there is reason to worry. Doubt is still there telling me that maybe you're not supposed to be here in the first place and that you are not equipped. Morbid as it may sound but I just took out my 'sword' and imagined piercing through these monsters, cutting them open and putting them in their place (as I will have to over and over again this ovester). I think the summer version of me is already looking at this moment saying, these thoughts need not be thought. I am a conqueror through HIM who loved me.

Histology and the Beauty of another chance

I'm supposed to be studying histology but for some unknown reason I'm so hyper I can't look at the slides straight. I think it might be all the sugar from the taho. I'm bouncing off the walls and I can't seem to concentrate on Peyer's patches.

Histology exam later. I really need to get as much high grades for all of my remaining OS 201 exams. I have the one later and a lecture exam on Monday. I need a high grade. I want a high grade.

Grade = grace.

bitter

I've lost my powers. I used to think of myself as this superstudent who was usually better than the rest because I had something everyone else didn't. I know I'm going to to sound snooty but it's true. I was a better student than most of my classmates backin college. My edge? Passion. I was so intensley passionate about school and about learning, no one could stop me from studying and from being the best student I could be. Acing an exam was not really a hassle for me.

Enter med school and I'm barely passing my exams. And I just realized just how much I hate it. I hate that I'm all of a sudden mediocre because I am not. I hate that they say that I'm not as good as my classmates because of some weird reason like because I'm older or because of my course. Sure, they might have a valid point but those stupid ass reasons are not going to hinder me from being a good medical student. I am going to ace my exams and I'm going to be a great doctor. Wait and see.

First week of med school

As expected, the first week of med school was pretty relaxed. Not much was expected of us and most of the activities revolved around a relatively easy subject namely The Art of Making a Physician. What I really appreciated about this subject is that it gave us some time to pause and just look at ourselves - what are our values, what are the things that we enjoy. What I enjoyed in particular was spending time with my group mates in our small group discussions. It gave me a way of meeting new people and learning from them as well.

Key points I learned in the small group discussions:
1. Look at something in its completeness (both positive and negative) and with objectivity to make a better analysis.
2. Manage your time wisely.
3. There's no need to reason out when you know you've made a mistake.
4. Appreciate the blessings you have.
5. When in doubt, ask.

What I like about the course was that it's a good foundation for us as future physicians. It allowed us to look within us for our purpose and objectives for the rest of our medical career. I'm hoping I make this as a good base for the rest of my medical proper. I want to be able to build my blocks carefully and make the most of my medical education.

Step 1: The Decision

I had a uniform fitting yesterday. I couldn't help but get just a little bit misty-eyed when I tried it on. It just hit me-- this is it. I'm actually pushing through with this, I'm going to become a doctor.

People often ask me why I want to be a doctor given that I'm not exactly what you'd call the typical medical student. I'm an Agribusiness Management graduate and I already had a managerial postition in a well-off corporation. I was already doing well with my life, why in the world did I have to rock the boat and go completely off course by going into medicine all of a sudden?

Honestly, I don't really answer people with the complete truth when they ask me that. I usually give them a manufactured answer like, "I've always wanted to become a doctor." The truth is, that's not true. Heck, I remember when I was a kid someone asked me what I wanted to be and I said I wanted to be a cashier in a supermarket. When I got a little older, I think it shifted to President of the Philippines. Then after a while I said I wanted to be an actress. In short, I've never always wanted to be a doctor.

However, I do remember when I realized that I wanted to leave my current life to pursue medicine. I was in my room watching television. I had just recently suffered a panic attack and was taking a leave of absence. I was watching David Letterman and Robin Williams was being interviewed. He was describing the heart surgery that he just went through. I don't remember how exactly, but in between one of Robin Williams hilarious anecdotes and David Letterman's conjectures, I realized what I wanted to do with my life, what I really wanted to be: I want to become a doctor. The moment seemed like it was taken right out of a cheesy television movie. But quite literally, it was like this weight was lifted off my heart and I could breathe again. All of a sudden the cloud hovering over my mind was gone and everything just made sense. And so I took a leap of faith and now I'm enrolled, on my way to get my books and waiting for my new set of uniforms.

I guess it might seem silly to some, even borderline selfish and crazy. But honestly, at this point, I don't really care. I'm on my way to becoming a doctor and with God on my side, I don't think anyone or anything can stop me. Med school, here I come!

NMAT tips

I wrote this letter for a friend who was about to take the NMAT.

Maybe I you can pick up some tips too.

Don't hesitate to post any comments or questions you might have. I'd be glad to answer them back!

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Dear Monica,

Hi! I heard that you're taking the NMAT this April. I hope the reviewers that I lent you will be of help. My mom suggested that I send you some tips so I'll be writing this assuming you'll be taking the NMAT for the first time. :)

Basically, when I was preparing for the NMAT, I just made sure that I disciplined myself to follow the schedule that I made. In the month prior to the NMAT, I scheduled about 3-5 days per subject, depending on how easy or hard I found it, and just reviewed for 2 hours in the morning and evening about 2 hours in the evening per day.

For Part I, the English part was relatively easy for me. Just practice building your vocabulary and practice reading quickly but also making sure you comprehend articles well. For Math, it was basic math skills in algebra, trigonometry and geometry and a lot of graph and table analysis but nothing extremely complicated like higher calculus. If in case you're like me though, who isn't so good in Math, I suggest you really practice also. Though the questions are basic, they can be really tricky and you have to be quick in answering them. For Abstract Reasoning and Perceptual Acuity, there's not much I can tell you except to PRACTICE. These parts are really based on logic and skill. The main pointers for Part 1 is to practice and to be always aware of the time. A lot of people weren't able to finish this part and as a result got their NMAT grades pulled down.

For Part II, the Bio part was OK. The questions were a mixture of Genetics, Basic Bio, Ecology, Botany and Zoo. For Chem, I found it a bit hard. Study Organic Chem, Biochem, Analytical Chem and Basic Chem. In our NMAT, a lot of Basic Chem came out (valence electrons, spdf, etc.) as well as Organic Chem. Make sure you know your Analytical Chem also (titration, etc.). In Physics, you have to study thermodynamics, electricity, light and waves and of course the basics, i.e. motion, energy, etc. I found this pretty hard. This was the subtest I got lowest grade so I hope you get to study especially if you're not so familiar with it anymore. Social Sciences was OK also, same level of difficulty as Bio. Make sure you know the terms used in Psychology, Social Studies and Anthropology. I have a good set of handouts on that from the review center. Review the terms.

Part I is more time consuming than Part II. Always make sure you're aware of the time and budget it accordingly based on your skills. Practice for Part I and study for Part II. When you think you're as prepared as you can get, use the mock exam that CEM gave you when you applied for the NMAT. That will give you a gauge of how prepared you are. The mock exam was really useful for me and I think it's as close to the actual NMAT as you can get.

They say every NMAT is different so the best advice I can give is be prepared. Practice, study and budget your time on the actual test. I'll be praying for you Monica. I hope you do well in the NMAT. Email me lang if you need to ask anything pa.

God bless!

Sincerely,

Litte Miss Hippocrates